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To prepare for the talk, I attended at Thursday 10 p.m.Mass where about 75 committed Catholic undergrads served as a focus group: After I explained why I thought it was important for issues of sex and dating to be address within the Church, I asked students to put their anonymous questions on index cards.If they say “let’s go home together now,” you can say you think they’re really great and you’d like to get to know then better—over coffee the next day.
And don’t be above being a bit of a tease: You can hang out with a guy or girl at the bar as if you might go home with them, and then say—give me your number I’ll call you tomorrow.
My students aren’t sure what a hook-up really means, or how to find a lasting relationship when casual sex is the norm.
So when the Newman Center invited me to speak to young adult Catholics on these issues, I jumped at the chance.
Here are a few highlights: “How do you break the routine of hook-ups and try to find a quality relationship? These kinds of benefits require trust—and trust takes time to build.
” Think about what you want from a relationship: Mutual appreciation? This, to me, is one of the biggest problems with the hook-up culture: It skips over all the emotional relationship and trust building and jumps into a physical and very personal act without the emotional backup.